Elect a Raccoon Overlord

This content has been very graciously shared by Sarah Walker, who will forevermore be known as The Racoon Overlord Lady.

The 2022 Global Constitution requires the election of a Raccoon Overlord every four years, starting in 2022.

Raccoon Overlord-elect addresses its supporters after the other candidates for the office all conceded | Screenshot from season 9 episode 16 of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Refer to Article II of the 2022 Global Constitution for the full qualifications a would-be candidate must meet to be eligible to hold this office.

Follow these steps to elect a Raccoon Overlord.

  1. Publish the names of all eligible candidates and the current city of residence for each candidate on 30 June of the election year as set forth in the Global Constitution.
    • This information must be published exactly how they will appear on the ballot on Election Day.
    • This information must be published in a press release distributed to all subscribed entities.
    • This information must be read aloud in an audio file distributed to all entities that have subscribed to the Election Oversight Committee's audio file distribution service.
    • Any other medium currently in use at the time of the election should be used to distribute this information.
  2. Begin recruiting polling center staff, ballot counters, and other polling center support staff on the first Tuesday of August. Refer to Recruit Polling Center Staff for more information.
  3. Publish the locations of polling centers on the last Monday of August of the election year.
  4. Hold the first candidate debate on the last Thursday of August of the election year.
    1. Announce the location on the first Monday of August.
    2. Confirm with all eligible candidates that they plan to participate by 15 August.

      Eligible candidates are not required to participate, and debate organizers are not obligated to state why any eligible candidate is not participating.

    3. Hold a dry technical rehearsal (no candidates present) no later than the last Tuesday of August.

      Multiple motion picture cameras set up some distance from a stage on which colored lighting effects are seen. Image sourced from Freepik (https://www.freepik.com/premium-photo/stream-concert-hall-without-spectators_40484907.htm)

    4. Hold a wet technical rehearsal on the last Wednesday of August.
      • The rehearsal cannot start until all participating candidates are present.
      • All participating candidates must remain at the venue until the technical director announces that all lighting, sound and other technical considerations are set.

        Three Raccoon Overlord candidates are standing at lecterns on a brightly lit stage while a camera person checks the view of those candidates through the camera's viewfinder | Raccoon left: Photo by Alexander https://stock.adobe.com/images/500px-photo-id-221554545/173371622; Raccoon center: Photo by sergei gladyshev www.gettyimages.co.nz/detail/photo/raccoon-with-its-hands-covering-its-mouth-royalty-free-image/977022050; Raccoon right: https://imgflip.com/memegenerator/193325825/Surprised-Raccoon; Main image: Source unknown

  5. Hold the second candidate debate on the last Thursday of September.
    1. Announce the location on the first Monday of September.
    2. Confirm with all eligible candidates that they plan to participate by 15 September.

      Eligible candidates are not required to participate, and debate organizers are not obligated to state why any eligible candidate is not participating.

    3. Hold a dry technical rehearsal (no candidates present) no later than the last Tuesday of September.
    4. Hold a wet technical rehearsal on the last Wednesday of September.

      The rehearsal cannot start until all participating candidates are present, and all participating candidates must remain at the venue until the technical director announces that all lighting, sound and other technical considerations are set.

  6. Confirm that every polling location is prepared for Election Day.
    1. By the last Friday of September, confirm that each polling location has at least the minimum number of polling center staff, ballot counters and other polling center support staff based on the criteria established in Article II Section 4 of the 2022 Global Constitution.
      • The Polling Location Staff Oversight Committee at Election Oversight headquarters must receive the training certifications for all scheduled and backup polling center staff, ballot counts and other polling center support staff by the last Friday of September.
      • Although the number of backup persons for each polling location staff position is not set forth in the 2022 Global Constitution, the Election Oversight Commission officially encourages each polling location to have a 1:1 ratio of scheduled and backup workers.
    2. By the last Friday of September, all voting machines at the Election Oversight headquarters must have passed testing and found to be fully functional and then locked by the Election Oversight headquarters technical supervisor.
    3. Ship the voting machines to the polling locations so that they arrive no later than 15 October.
    4. Confirm receipt of the voting machines with each polling location supervisor no later than the last Monday of October.
    5. Ensure that each polling location supervisor has the email address for the Election Oversight Committee IT support staff, EOC_IT-Support@raccoonglobalgaze.gov, and understands the situations that require support from the Election Oversight Committee IT support staff.
  7. Hold the final candidate debate on the last Thursday of October.
    1. Announce the location on the first Monday of October.
    2. Confirm with all eligible candidates that they plan to participate by 15 October.
      Eligible candidates are not required to participate, and debate organizers are not obligated to state why any eligible candidate is not participating.
    3. Hold a dry technical rehearsal (no candidates present) no later than the last Tuesday of October.
    4. Hold a wet technical rehearsal on the last Wednesday of October.

      The rehearsal cannot start until all participating candidates are present, and all participating candidates must remain at the venue until the technical director announces that all lighting, sound and other technical considerations are set.

  8. Distribute the codes to unlock the voting machines to each polling location chief an hour before the polling location opens on Election Day.

    Do not distribute the unlocking codes to all polling location chiefs across the Raccoon Global Gaze simultaneously.

  9. Distribute the codes to lock the voting machines at each polling location chief an hour before the polling locations close on Election Day.
  10. Publish the final vote count and announce the president-elect of the Raccoon Global Gaze only after all ballots from all polling locations across the Raccoon Global Gaze have been processed.

    Official flag of the Raccoon Global Gaze | Original art: 'Counting Out Time' by Stormslegacy retrieved from https://www.weasyl.com/~stormslegacy/submissions/1672723/counting-out-time

    • This information must be published in a press release distributed to all subscribed entities.
    • This information must be read aloud in an audio file distributed to all entities that have subscribed to the Election Oversight Committee's audio file distribution service.
    • Any other medium currently in use at the time of the election should be used to distribute this information.
  11. Collect the voting machines from the established collection points, return them to Election Oversight headquarters, and then lock them in the vault.

Key Dates and Deadlines

This table contains the dates and deadlines set forth in the 2022 Global Constitution for a Raccoon Overlord election.

The dates and deadlines all take place in the election year.

Date or Deadline Action Required
30 June Publish the names of all eligible candidates and each one's current city of residence
First Monday of August Announce the location of the first candidate debate
First Tuesday of August Begin recruiting polling center staff, ballot counters, and other polling center support staff
15 August Deadline to confirm with all eligible candidates that they plan to participate in the first candidate debate
Last Monday of August Publish the locations of polling centers
On or before the last Tuesday of August Hold a dry technical rehearsal for the first candidate debate
Last Wednesday of August Hold a wet technical rehearsal for the first candidate debate
Last Thursday of August Hold the first candidate debate
First Monday of September Announce the location of the second candidate debate
15 September Deadline to confirm with all eligible candidates that they plan to participate in the second candidate debate
On or before the last Tuesday of September Hold a dry technical rehearsal for the second candidate debate
Last Wednesday of September Hold a wet technical rehearsal for the second candidate debate
Last Thursday of September Hold the second candidate debate
On or before the last Friday of September Confirm that each polling location has at least the minimum number of polling center staff, ballot counters and other polling center support staff and that the Polling Location Staff Oversight Committee at Election Oversight headquarters has received the training certifications for all scheduled and backup polling center staff, ballot counts and other polling center support staff

Deadline to ensure that all voting machines at the Election Oversight headquarters have passed testing and are fully functional and have been locked by the Election Oversight headquarters technical supervisor
First Monday of October Announce the location of the final candidate debate
15 October Deadline to confirm with all eligible candidates that they plan to participate in the final candidate debate

Deadline by which the polling locations must take delivery of the voting machines
Last Monday of October Deadline for confirming receipt of the voting machines with each polling location supervisor
On or before the last Tuesday of October Hold a dry technical rehearsal for the final candidate debate
Last Wednesday of October Hold a wet technical rehearsal for the final candidate debate
Last Thursday of October Hold the final candidate debate
1 hour before each polling location opens on Election Day Distribute the codes to unlock the voting machines to each polling location chief
1 hour before each polling location closes on Election Day Distribute the codes to lock the voting machines at each polling location chief

Other Procedural Considerations

The 2022 Global Constitution establishes the requirements and procedures for electing a Raccoon Overlord every four years. However, the election typically requires additional planning and work in addition to the constitutionally defined procedures. Click to expand a topic to learn more about possible actions citizens and designated officials of the Raccoon Global Gaze might need to take as part of the election process.

Official Election Information Distribution Services

Citizens and Raccoon Global Gaze officials should be aware of these media outlets.

Print

Raccoons can't read traditional printed content. However, they are fantastic braille readers thanks to their phenomenal tactile senses. Here are the top five braille news publications for raccoons:

  • Trash Panda Daily
  • Tanuki Times
  • The Gaze Around the Globe
  • News of the Globe
  • Ranger Rick

Radio

Raccoons are active listeners with good hearing. Here are the top five radio broadcasters amongst raccoons:

  • GGPR (formerly Global Gaze Public Radio)
  • Radio Free Gaze
  • KKRF 107.9 FM Raccoon Valley Radio
  • BBC Radio 1
  • WWOZ 90.7 FM New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Station

Social Media

Raccoons don't do social media.

Internet

All press releases in all media are available on the Raccoon Global Gaze's official website, raccoonglobalgaze.gov.

Fundraising

Corporations

Corporations are not citizens.

  • Corporations cannot donate money to any eligible candidate
  • Corporations cannot pay for any expenses for any eligible candidate
  • Corporations cannot donate services, products, use of facilities to any eligible candidate

Citizens

No citizen can donate more than ¤50 per election cycle to any eligible candidate.

No citizen can be reimbursed by a corporation for donations made to any eligible candidate. Furthermore, no citizen can donate money provided from any foreign source.